I haven’t written a blog in months. How terrible is that? I want to, but I end up writing essays for my teachers instead. My writing is controlled by what needs to get done.
I’ve seen this in other writers before too. It’s our job right? We’re here to make sure everyone’s happy before we let our hearts be free. Even when we write, some of it isn’t for ourselves. It can start out for ourselves, but we share our work with people. We search for the joy in their eyes from our words. It’s for our audience. We’re always on a stage.
I imagine my stage torn up with magnificent creative details in the wood. There are not much decorations but enough to notice. I am off to the side of the stage with broken chains around my wrists. In the center, there’s a mirror pointing at the audience.
I’ve always wondered if it’s me holding myself back. We do direct our time toward what matters the most.
Writing matters the most to me, right? I think about writing all the time. But college is calling my attention more than I need it to.